Category: ! Vitneta and Column

For a long time I no longer entertained myself with simulators of the Olympic Games. If you remember, then the first to mind, of course, is an old one Track & Field times NES (or deny in our country). There we jumped, ran, shot at the plates – in general, the old -time eight -bit fun. The second Olympics in my life was already winter – as I remember now, in Nagano. On the same disk for PS, you could fight in two dozen different disciplines. I liked Kerling the most – there you can at least think. Freestyle was the most difficult thing – it was necessary to knock out long combo in a short time. Something reminded of “brutali” in Mortal Kombat. Anyway, a distinctive feature of all these games is the buttons. Back in 1992, these foundations were laid – if the athlete needs to run, then you need to press the button as quickly as possible. If he needs to jump after that, then you will have to press the key in the pad until it stops at a certain moment. In fact, there was no question of any simulator and does not go – this is all the pure water of the Arcade, but in the Olympic guise.

Sports Festival in Vancouver – a great occasion again to “comb” the topic. In 2008 there was a summer Chinese, but now, please, – winter games. What awaits virtual athletes on a snowy Canadian coast?

Break off your hand

I don’t like to reproach games for crooked management at all – the main thing is the content, but this time the crime is so serious that I don’t even give a chance to forgiveness. The developers were too lazy to smear the buttons from the cross -shaped box. At the start, we are joyfully greeted by colored letters A, b, y … click on them, but nothing happens! The salt here is that management, even to get to the settings, will have to be sought at random … And when we get it, we will understand that … the Xbox pad was simply dragged from the console to the keyboard. Nobody thought about any ergonomics – just the input data was replaced. So if you still dare to drive in Vancouver, then know that WASD is a cross, and h, j, k, y, u, i is everything else.

Now you can proceed to the insides-competitions and appearance. It is clear that there is nothing more here and cannot be – the plot is useless;Seasons and pumping players in the manner FIFA -also not (athletes, in my opinion, are generally faceless);Pure Olympics – nothing more.

Our main task is the pursuit of gold, it is obvious. It is not obvious who we will compete with, actually. Having restrained all kinds of menus, we will find out that we will resist .. Board of Records! That is, we connect to a godly Live, roll a good time, and then send it. Everything is cooler, well done. Honestly, such an incentive did not skill me, but this is another half of the trouble – remember, I said that we have since long ago – a pure arcade? So nothing has changed. I’ll tell you in more detail, wait a minute pulling ski caps and heated.

Winter sports in the virtual Vancouver is not enough: you can go skiing from the mountain (different options for tracks plus women);The same thing, but on snowboarding – a slightly different specificity of management;We jump from the springboard;We twist the freestyle;Fight in skates;and we rode bobs and sleigh under the eyeballs. And all. Although, on the other hand, the choice is clear – these are the most speedy and spectacular sports. Biathlon, where the race can last more than an hour, is unlikely to fit for entertainment.

This is how competitions are. We choose, say, slalom. We get to start – you need to press the A button (which is actually not A, but J) to the signal GO. Managed – we get points for the push. Now we hollow J to gain speed – this must be done really violently. After we must drive along the highway without missing by the multi -colored gate. Accelerate on I, slow down on y – everything is simple. We get to the finish line, time goes into offset. Easy, is it not true? And in general, it’s even funny – the graphics for the project are by no means massive and not a chitly very decent. People look like people, not revitalized sausages. Motion Blur successfully emphasizes the speed of movement, and even with a first -person view (as it should be in a mask and glasses), and in general, it is at times in a breath.

While everything goes well, we move on. Snowboard turned out to be almost a clone of skis – nothing complicated, except that the speed is smaller, and the turns are abruptly. The speakers are not enough, I fall asleep, but pretty good alternative music from the speakers encourages – the compositions are selected correctly, especially for large speeds.

With almost rainbow thoughts I go to jumps. There is generally a continuous arcade. We stand at the start – catch the wind. The runner moves from right to left, try to get into the central position, we are starting. We are approaching the end of the springboard – we clamp the J button, another scale appears – you need to get into the center to jump Right, Errors are not forgiven. Missed – get a fine. Finally, in flight you need to clat on J to land in time, and control the flight buttons Y and I so as not to fall to the side (this is also evaluated). We complete the jump – we get points depending on the accuracy of our actions. From the fifth time I managed to do everything at 100. Three times in a row. I won so easily in the world?!

After the jumps, it became somehow suspicious-the player in them at all almost does not take part. Rare spot presses to the reaction – no control, little participation and involvement in the process.

Now skates. Here things are more fun here – even though we are not chasing

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with time, but with opponents … But an annoying problem got out. To move along the highway and turn, you need to press not only left and right (a, d), but also Y. At the same time, you still have to put pressure on the acceleration button, and there are not enough hands on everything-after all, the gamepad has something Shifts. And the fingers there simultaneously participate in the process of six (and more). In general, I never mastered the battle on the ice – I broke the limbs.

However, if I pounded my hands slightly on the skates, then freestyle chopped off them on my elbow. It is known that various figures have different complexity coefficients. The higher it is – the more points for the jump. Here everything is also arcade, but Sado-Maza, as in Nagano 98, is not (there it was necessary to fill with twelve-bearing combinations of crosses, zero, squares and triangles in a matter of seconds). Start with the sight – we need to get to the springboard. The runner moves quickly, try to press the button when it stands in the center. We accelerate – a familiar scale (as on skis), jump – here a pitch and fierce surprise awaits us: one or two circles appear depending on the complexity of the figure, along which colored balls run in different directions. We must fit the strips in these circles so that the balls are always inside them. This is done by the cross (a, d) and shifts (y, i). On the gamepad is convenient and easy, I’m sure. But on the keyboard, the brain all the time resists to understand which strips and where to twist. And after the jump, you still need to land – and this is again j. You can, of course, set your fingers in advance, but this, frankly, does not even smell like a convenience.

Bobsley and sled do not paint a gloomy picture. Racing on a speed track is funny, but before the start you need to scare the acceleration button. Yes, so fiercely that after a dozen races the keyboard will have to be changed – but I appreciate my own and love. The choice was simple – and it was not in favor of the game.

Closing ceremony

Virtual Winter Olympic Games is cool. If only because they can theoretically attract people to sports. And this is health, good. On the other hand, such a disregard for the implementation will rather turn away a potential medalist from skis, skates and sledges. Ergonomics in the digital Vancouver – neither in the Red Army, nor in any other place. We will engage in a pause over the body of a fallen porcelain portion. Amen.

Pros: The only Olympics simulator in the market;Cute graphics.
Cons: The terrible management that puts the cross on all the attempts of the developers;little competitions;Weak motivation.

Tell me, which of you did not pull at least once to laugh during the responsible event? Remember the official part of your graduation, the depth of the school director or class teacher to peers. All these terribly serious people stand with stone faces, broadcast about something extremely important. And you are somewhere in the clouds, you think about your own, and then you abruptly switch to the interlocutor and surprise your gloomy face and arrogant tone in the voice seem insanely ridiculous. I just want to push to the side, cheerfully saying: “Come on! Maybe we’ll be simpler?»Jokers and balagurs from Ace Team, which have already been remembered thanks to Zeno Clash, their light and relaxing Rock of Ages as if they want to tell us the same. And also, of course, “troll” amateurs from Teotl Studios With their The Ball.

Bowling with obstacles

Comparison with last year’s “ball” asks for analysis Rock of Ages. We will not very describe the pros and cons of the parties, but only it should be, that Ace Team It turned out more fun and more exciting. Of course, the genres of the games are different, but the ball in both cases has a lot of attention liabilities.

So, now about the very desire to laugh at the crucial moment. The developers, like most of us, studied the myths of ancient Greece in childhood. If you remember, then the gods built each other’s intrigues, cursed with sinister curses, threw themselves trident and punished the perpetrators in the most merciless way. Some took these tales too literally and built a series God of War Based on. It is quite meat and spectacular, but pumped with testosterone and obsessive desire to “take revenge on everyone”. We do not condemn SCE Santa Monica – This is her choice, and it is not necessary to remind now that the exclusives for the PlayStation turned out to be amazing. Chilean creators also decided to exploit ancient Greek mythology for their own good and to us for fun. The

basis was a harsh and full regret story about Sisyphus.

This is the same guy who was instructed to roll a huge boulder to the top of the mountain in the kingdom of Aida for certain offenses. As soon as our deceiver, a thief, a robber and a fan of sending a fool to the gods delivered his heavy load to a place, had to start again: the ball rolled back, thoughts about meaningless work and time spent with renewed force.

Only according to the creators Rock of Ages One fine day, Sisyphus was so mocking the alignment with respect to him. He realized that the ball can be used not only as an improvised tool for escape, but also as an instrument of revenge ..

Ball in the face

Game process Rock of Ages It is a certain mixture of ball skiing from The Ball and laying obstacles to the opponent’s shell. Any card is a symmetrical gutter suspended high above the ground or generally unknown where. Our main goal is to drive your ball straight to the gate, behind which the enemy is hidden. The door will not work out the first time – attempts requires at least two or three attempts. During the trip of our round comrade, we will have to deal with the opposed obstacles. They can be catapults of various sizes and ranges of action, animals, fuel mines, guard towers and artillery headquarters that cause support from the air. All these joys kindly set up your opponent during the “respite” – when the boulder has already reached the addressee, and the creation of the new has not ended yet.

Actually, with the main goal, everything is clear. It is important even during the trip of our shell from the center of the map to the enemy gates as much as possible … Press people, break the defense structures and leave the ball more or less whole. For the collapse of everything and the whole game generously rewards with gold. More ruffled – we get more money. However, it is not necessary to be distracted by vandalism – you can include the likeness of Sberkass, with the help of which your savings will grow over time.

The story campaign Rock of Ages quite short and, oddly enough, to madly inexpressive. Having adopted such a positive and simple mechanics, Ace Team completely forgot about diversity and phen. No, with humor, developers have a complete order. Visual style and voice acting rollers. But empty to the stupidity of clowning is terribly boring. And squeaks-pages of heroic heroes (literally) over time begin to irritate. The same with bosses. This, of course, is pleasant and fun when the developers themselves point to the weaknesses of the enemy, mocking over such contractions in a thousand and one slasher. But if the disassembly with each monster consists in a triple blow to a vulnerable place and no more … Here you forget about a unique visual style.

I would like to find comfort in multiplayer – in theory, Rock of Ages for him and created. Yes, only a couple of modes (and this is taking into account the fact that the essence of one of them in the plot campaign was completely revealed) you will not be carried away for a long time. You need many beautiful cards, all kinds of studies for the detonation of defensive structures – a lot of things. However, the number of players still cannot hold. Every round lasts no more than three minutes and manages to be shy faster than the local musical compositions.

Rock of Ages catastrophically lacking scale and variety. “Living” mechanics and pleasant visual style quickly exhaust themselves both in the plot campaign and in the multiplayer. But if you suddenly want to carefully roll balls, listen to revelations Leonardo da Vinci and charge the cobblestone into a huge children’s face – we ask for mercy.

Pros: excellent visual style;Interesting mechanics;Dynamic multiplayer.
Cons: monotony;little content;The game is exhausted too quickly.